In the fall of 2001, back when I was in my first week of a 2 year
program at Centennial College in the Correctional Worker program, Vanessa
Alleyne was a public speaker at the campus to speak to us.
Since young
offenders and social work is apart of the job description as a worker in the
field. She had arrived with her incredible story of incest and how the system
had failed her but eventually found triumph from great people in the system
that helped her reach that triumph.
When came to the college, she had everyone's year. She spoke fluently and very intelligently. You could tell this was a woman that commanded respect just from the sound of her voice. I was glued to the edge of my seat as I was super interested in what she said about her life and found a lot of similarities in her struggles to those of my own.
As a spectator of hers, I felt a strange connection to a great deal of her story. The glaring difference was that I have never been a victim of incest. But the biggest connection was that she was a woman of struggle that had no one to help her as she was shunned for standing up for herself.
She just wanted to be accepted and loved by those that should have been doing so unconditionally from the very start. As a man, I have gone through the same thing with various people in my life as well.
To go into greater detail, the connection I feel from her and her story is of never having a family around, non-existent siblings, parents & siblings that treat you like you don't belong, always pushing you away, never helping you but always helping each other and so on.
Vanessa had, from what was described in her book, as people who should have been there for her enabling each other. Then found herself being weakened into feeling that she was crazy hence the title of her book. She needed help and never got it from her "family" especially her mother.
I found a lot of solace in the representation of her character as a strong person that came from nothing and had to fight through insurmountable odds. Another connection, I felt towards her having gone through and still go through til this day. She inspired me from the moment I heard her speak about her story.
I remember, during the presentation there were some air headed girls in my class that were making snide comments. They were clearly not interested in what Vanessa had to say, I just looked at them with this look of disgust, if I said anything then it would have totally disrupted Vanessa. So those girls stayed quiet under protest. Everyone like me were totally focused on this incredible story of Vanessa's.
After the presentation and Q & A period was completed we had a chance to purchase the book for a small fee of $10. I waited to go up to have the chance to talk to her. So when I went up there to talk to her after everyone had pretty much cleared out, I had the chance to talk to her and of course purchase her book.
She was very pleasant and easy going to talk too. I had told her something to the effect of I was totally interested in her story and couldn't wait to read her book. We had exchanged pleasantries and then our little conversation was over once she had thoughtfully signed my book with the following inscription:
"
Changing Lives through the Sharing of Experiences and the gift of the written Word! V. Alleyne To: Jamie {My birth name}
Keep on Listening"
When I finally read the book wasn't until a little 8 years later, when I finally had the chance to pick up the book and give it my total focus {wasn't much of a reader for those years despite being a book worm of sorts}. I was floored when I finally had the focus and time to read this unbelievable story. Below, I have enclosed a couple of the notes that I took down upon reading:
*
"Pet" was her nickname In
Trinidad {her official birth place, born in 1968}. This was important for me to note because she was treated throughout her earlier life as a thrown away abused pet that just wanted love and care.
* Pg.#148 - * {About The Children's Aid Society (CAS) }
* "I believed that when the CAS had taken me into care, it's motives were good, but I felt cheated by it's failure to care for me properly. My situation hadn't called for me to be tossed into homes with children who had broken the law. More appropriate shelters should be made available for children from abusive environments. Their cases are special."
* Pg.#149 -
" 'The only right thing is what is right for you Vanessa'. What makes you feel better in the long run is what is better for you', she answered."
The last note from the book there was really interesting because it was someone finally not treating her like she had to stay quiet or listen to what others were telling her about herself. There was only one person that knew right from wrong. It was herself.
I recommend picking up this great book. It's a very easy but hard hitting book. There is only 166 pages total and you won't put it down. In 1996, the book was published and it's a story that will let you in on how a woman struggled with being pregnant as of a result of her sexually abusive step father.
It's hard for me to write too much details about Vanessa's book because I don't want to give anything away. The story is worth seeking out online and purchasing the book {click on the title of this note and you will be taken to where you can purchase it}. It's well worth it. You also have to have a strong stomach because of what she describes very clearly in the book is pretty graphic as well.
31 Chapters written with a lot of truth and honesty. You can't deny when reading this book that the system is flawed but it takes a strong woman or man for that matter to over come and reach personal vindication.Get your hands on this tragedy to triumph true tell all.
Wherever you are now Vanessa, thank you for inspiring so many others to stand up for themselves and fighting instead of laying down and letting the World rip you to pieces. Much respect and love to you.
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